Necklace or a Nice Little Home?

To say that I was slightly derailed by the inauguration of a maniacal idiot as the president of our country would be the understatement of the decade. My apologies for the lack of posts! Now that I’ve gathered a modicum of composure again, it’s time to get back to the important things: places you could buy for the price of the Tiffany’s $2M necklace Jessica Biel wore to the Oscars.

In my humble opinion, it’s a bit much with a gold dress, but I’m no Hollywood actress. What do I know? (And was it just me or were a lot of the women trying to BE an Oscar?) Anywho, were you in the market for something worth two million dollars you could opt for this Whispers of the Rainforest number above, or one of these humble abodes below.

Flushing, Queens – $1,950,000

Sure, you’ll have a bit of a commute to get into the city from Flushing, but with a 2-car garage, 6 bedrooms and 6 baths will you care that much? Maybe not.


Park Slope, Brooklyn – $1,095,000

You could literally fall out of your front door into the train from this sweet little 2-bedroom in Park Slope. For the price of a half a necklace you get to be around the corner from the best donuts in the neighborhood and have your own private roof deck and working fireplace. The hammock is probably negotiable.


Financial District, Manhattan – $1,649,995

If an eye-popping amount of space in the Financial District is more your speed, you could get this beauty and pocket $400K for vacations or whatever. And if you’re looking to make a little money on the weekends, rent out your living room as a cool roller skating rink if you want. Only one bathroom, though, so you’ll probably have a line if you’re serving drinks.


Washington Heights, Manhattan – $1,625,000

Alternatively, you could own a slice of actual history and have a legitimate claim to a piece of Alexander Hamilton if you bought this Sylvan Terrace townhouse. The secluded mews was originally part of the Morris-Jumel estate which we all know was the home that Aaron Burr’s one-time wife Eliza (not Hamilton’s Eliza) owned. And as we all also know, Aaron Burr was the angsty little vice president who did not throw away his shot in a duel with Hamilton. They’re rarely on the market, so scoop this up. Or buy the necklace. Whatever.


Red Hook, Brooklyn – $1,900,000

I’m a total sucker for Red Hook and if you are, too, this former garage/carriage house that has been restored to perfection could be yours. It has huge bay doors in the front and three beds and baths. While it may be a little susceptible to flooding if and when there is another catastrophic hurricane (our new president says global warming isn’t a thing so maybe there’s no point in worrying?), it oozes modern charm.


Maybe I should email Jessica and tell her she and Justin could be east coasters if they want to swap that precious bauble for one of these babies?